How come some kids are spoiled rotten, totally entitled, and obnoxious to be around, while other kids and gracious, thoughtful, and a joy to be with? What is it about these kids, what makes them different, and what makes them the same? It has a lot to do with the parent child relationship.
Picture this: A teenager owns an iPad, has been home schooled on a yacht for a year, travels back and forth between a slope side chalet, a luxury yacht, and one of the finest homes in NYC. She attends private school in Manhattan, and wears designer clothes. Her family has a staff of people that cook, clean, walk the dog, even drive them around.
Now ask yourself this: Is this child spoiled?
None of this matters. Not. One. Bit. It is not what we buy for our kids that cause them to be spoiled. There are plenty of children of privilege that are lovely, thoughtful, well adjusted kids. And there are plenty of less well off kids that are spoiled to the hilt.
So if it’s not that, then what makes kids spoiled?
Frankly, kids who are spoiled have parents who never taught them about to be grateful, thoughtful, responsible, and accountable. Think about it. When you threw a temper tantrum as a kid, did you get what you want? Do you remember your parents buying you stuff, just because you wanted it? Did you earn some stuff? Did you have to write thank you’s that you meant? Were there rules that you had to follow? What happened if you broke those rules?
Consistency, with proper structure, rules, discipline, and consequences is what allows kids to be the deeply loving, kind, generous, thoughtful kids that we all want to be around.
Take a look at where you’ve been consistent, and inconsistent, with your parenting. Then take a look at the children you are raising.